A Matter of Perspective

An English professor wrote the words

"Woman without her man is nothing."

on the blackboard and directed her students to punctuate it correctly.

The male students wrote:

"Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The female students wrote:

"Woman!

Without her, man is nothing."

--Unknown--

Friday Quote

 

Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.

 

-- Marie Curie--

Inter-generational Cycle of Abuse

Is there a generational cycle of abuse? Some of these examples of the impacts on children of living with domestic violence would suggest that children are growing up to replicate aspects of the behavior they themselves were subject to.  In other words, research has shown that there is a cycle of abuse whereby patterns of abusive behavior are passed down through the generations. 

Violence is a learned behavior that often is self-perpetuating. In fact, the single most influential factor of domestic violence in society is the continuation of a generational cycle of abuse and/or a history of abuse in the family of origin. When children bear witness to violence, they learn that the people you love the most may hurt you and the violence is the only way to handle conflict. Fear becomes a normal part of life.  This is the way people are supposed to act. Women who saw their mother abused may grow to believe that if a man doesn't abuse them, he must not love them.  And, as they learn, a generational cycle begins in which children grow up to either be abused or to be the abuser.  

In addition, the link between domestic violence and child abuse, both emotional and physical, cannot be ignored. Domestic violence or child abuse rarely exist alone. When there is violence in a home it is often multifaceted. Children are frequently involved in episodes of domestic violence, either as witnesses, victims, or participants when they intervene to protect their mothers. This form of family violence can have a profound influence on the child. Those who have been abused in childhood may abuse or neglect their own children, perpetuating an inter-generational cycle of abuse.  Violence begets violence.  Child abuse, like domestic violence, replicates itself across  generations.

A cycle of abuse is rarely broken without outside help. Without effective intervention, domestic violence  becomes an inter-generational cycle.  Abusers must confront and take responsibility for the verbal and physical abusive patterns of behavior. Both victim and abuser need to consider professional counseling as a means to stop the cycle of abuse. If you cannot find or cannot afford professional help, seek out public services to address the abuse in your home before it spirals out of control. 

Quote of the Day

"For what is done or learned by one class of women becomes, by virtue of their common womanhood, the property of all women."
—Elizabeth Blackwell
(The first woman in the U.S. to become a physician)

Woman must not accept; she must challenge.
She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her;
she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression.

~ Margaret Sanger ~

Where to Turn for Help

I have received several pleas for help from women who read this blog.  I wish, with all my heart, I could reach out and help each and every woman who is being abused, but I am limited.  I feel badly that I have not been able to respond to the pleas, but with no return email, there's not much I can  do.  And even if I could respond, the most I could do is lend a supportive ear.  With that in mind, I'd like to offer the following:

In an emergency: 

Call 911 or your country’s emergency service number if you need immediate assistance or have already been hurt.
For advice and support:

• In the U.S., call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
• UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.
• Canada: National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-363-9010
• Australia: National Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 200 526
• Or visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a worldwide list of helplines, shelters, and crisis centers.

For a safe place to stay:
Call your state’s branch of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence or another local organization. For contact information, visit State Resources.

Ritual Servitude

Did you know that in some parts of the world, slavery is still occurring?   And women are particularly vulnerable.  For example,...

...Ritual servitude is still practiced in Ghana where traditional religious shrines take young girls in payment for services, or in religious atonement for alleged misdeeds of a family member. Trokosi which means slaves or wives of the gods, is practiced by a small tribe called Ewe in the Volta region.   For centuries, girls as young as two have been given to priests in Ghana for life in payment for the crimes  and today we find children as young as 6 years old are forced to work at hazardous labor in the fishing industry and on cocoa farms.  After the onset of menstruation, the bondage also include sexual servitude and young girls are forced to work in houses of prostitution. It is common that a Trokosi has 10 to 15 children.

Once given to the priest, a girl becomes his property and is made to carry out domestic chores such as cooking and washing, as well as farming and fetching water. If a girl runs away or dies, or even if the priest tires of her, she must be replaced by another girl from the family. Some girls in ritual servitude are the third or fourth girl in their family suffering for the same  crime, sometimes for something as trite as the loss of trivial property.  If the priest should die, his Trokosi are passed on to his successor. Some girls do manage to get released, but they remain married to god for life. Many cannot marry, and remain indebted to the priest.


http://www.un.org/womenwatch/

http://www.un.org/ecosocdev/geninfo/afrec/vol15no4/154troko.htm