The truth is, all relationships all start beautifully ; we meet, he sweeps us off our feet and fall in love, and get married. He is the One. Then the honeymoon stages ends, and suddenly He has changed...for the worse. We think this can never happen to us, that these relationships happen only in women who lack an education, but truth be told, even highly educated and well-accomplished women undergo abuse as well.
Indeed, recent studies have shown that most men who abuse women were often abused themselves in their younger years, and since it is strongly believed that childhood experiences may have played a role in turning these men into abusers, it is quite possible that they have been raised to believe that in order to make women follow their whims, they should be subjected to physical pain. Furthermore, in some cases, the abuse is also a reaction or a form of rebellion against females...especially when the male had a negative experience with his mother. Unconsciously, he rebels against his mother through his partner especially when he sees some similarities between the mother and his spouse's attitudes.
Although many of these men may initially be charmers, the following are just a few early indications that your partner just may be an abuser?
- He tells you sob stories about how a previous relationship ended and how his girlfriend broke his trust. Watch out if he has had several failed relationships.
- He is overly jealous and possessive of you. Even the time you spend with your family and friends becomes a threat to him.
- He treats you as if you you are incapable of making your own decisions. He needs to control you and your actions so that you become dependent on him.
- He has unrealistic expectations of you, and when he thinks you have "failed", he becomes very increasingly disillusioned about you for not meeting his expectations.
- He believes that there is nothing wrong with the way he is treating you.
Remember. Men who are abusive by nature rarely change how they view things. You might try to slowly introduce him to the concept of him undergoing therapy, but get ready for the tirades that will be coming from him. An when you realize that he is not going to change--EVER--take charge of your life and move on.