The other day I was on Facebook, and an acquaintances post came up on my news feed. It was right after Morgan Freeman had been accused of sexual misconduct. The post itself was not against women, but one of the commenters said something that turned my stomach. In essence it was that 'woman have to stop lying on their backs to promote their career' and then feel bad about it later. This from a woman? Is she for real? Oh, you don't know, it took everything I had not to light into her, but not on someone else's page. I happen to like the acquaintance, and I'm sure if I had told this moron off as I wanted to, I would have been unfriended in a flash.
What I did do, however, is come back here and pick up writing on this blog again. I've known for years that this goes on in Hollywood. My ex was an actor, and he used to tell me how certain actors and bigwigs insisted that the woman sleep with them if they wanted a part in the film. Yes, the women did make a conscious choice, and yes, there are women who deliberately flaunt themselves, but for many women, it was that or forego their career. I don't care what career it is, if you worked hard for something wouldn't you feel pressured to give in rather than lose it all. Of course they feel bad about it later. They felt bad about it when it happened, only if they told, who would have believed them?
Women who have not been raped or sexually abused have no idea what it feels like. It eats you up inside. You smile on the outside, but inside, you hurt so bad, and it doesn't go away. Fear keeps you from opening up. Fear of repercussions. Fear of being ridiculed. Fear of being told it was all your fault. So you hold it in. You hold it in for years. 63 years and you, dear readers, are the only ones who know...aside from my therapist and the therapy group I attended many years ago. Even my husband has no idea I went through that.
So please, to those of you ladies who have never suffered any kind of abuse, sexual or otherwise, think about your comments before you say or write them. Put yourself in the others' shoes...if you can. But, the fact is, those who have never suffered abuse probably would never visit my blog.