Battered Women's Syndrome

The "Battered Woman Syndrome" is a recognized psychological condition which is used to describe a woman who, because of severe and constant physical abuse by her partner is depressed and unable to take any independent action to escape the abuse. There are four stages to the syndrome.

The first stage is denial.  In this stage the woman refuses to admit...even to herself...that she has been beaten or that there is a problem in her marriage.  He didn't mean it, it was just an accident.  She makes excuses for his violent acts, and each time she believes that it will never happen again. 

In the second stage, she is willing to acknowledge that there is a problem, but believes that she is at fault, that she deserves to be hit. It happens because of the defects in her character or that she is not living up to her husband's expectations. Her self-esteem is at its lowest, and her husband is taking full advantage of it...by berating her every chance he gets. It is all about control.

In the enlightenment stage, the she is no longer assuming responsibility for her husband's abusive treatment.  She now realizes the 'no one' deserves to be hit.  However, she remains committed to her marriage and chooses to stay with her husband...always hoping that they can work things out.  The husband may offer to attend counseling sessions, but after attending only a few, he gives up.  He doesn't need this.  He is not at fault. 

The final stage is the stage of responsibility.  She now has to accept the fact that her husband will not...or can not...control his violent behavior.  It is in this stage that she makes a commitment to start a new life.  (Sadly, there are many women who never make it this far.)