Unfortunately, many of us will have to deal with a stalker in some way or another at some point in their lives. It may be an ex-spouse or lover...or, it may be the new lover or spouse of your ex. It may be someone you work with or someone you say 'hello' to at the supermarket. It is someone who just wants to be with you and thinks you will you will want to be with them to, if you only give them a chance. At best, it is a very frightening experience; at its worst, it can be dangerous and deadly.
How you deal with your stalker depends on several factors: Who are they?; Why are they are stalking you?; and how dangerous do you think they might be? How they are stalking you is also important. For example, a cyberstalker who follows you online can be fairly easily dealth with by blocking him from most website; Phone numbers can be changed and blocked. For physical stalker, it may call for involving the police
Your first step is to identify who your stalker is. In most cases, it will probably be someone who you know. If it is an ex-lover or spouse, they are either stalking you because they want you back or because they want revenge. Either way, they feel like you have done them wrong and believe their actions are justified. If happens to be their new lover or spouse that's doing the stalking, it is likely that they are jealous of you and are afraid you will come between them. Either way, it has the potential to become very dangerous.
If you find there can be no reasoning with the person, then you must cut off all contact. If possible, move. If not, take any measures necessary to secure your home. Change your locks, and install deadbolts if you do not already have them. Secure glass sliders with sawn-off broomsticks cut to fit the tracks. Be careful not to give your phone number or any other personal information to them, and make sure that any mutual friends do not give them this information. Practice an escape plan. Talk to trusted neighbors about procedures if any of you see a prowler.Consider getting a guard dog.
Now, when there are children between you, it becomes a more difficult situation as they may decide to use the children as an excuse for stalking. If you are in a custody battle, let the court system know what is going on. Sometimes you wind up with a choice between visitation and privacy. In this case, the visitation comes at a high price because when your privacy is compromised, they come up with more reasons to take you back to court. If you don't know your stalker, you can call the police if they try to contact you.
Get a restraining order. Although this may upset your stalker, it will also make clear to him that hassling you is a crime. If the stalker violates the order, call the police immediately...no matter what the circumstances. If the stalker continues to harass you, make sure you keep a record of each incident, and tell everyone. You have done nothing to be ashamed of so don't be afraid to let your friends help you. Depending on the atmosphere at work, you may or may not want to share this information with your boss.
Join a support group. Victim advocates in district attorney’s offices can help you find one. Remember, there is strength in numbers.