Stalking is defined as "the willful, malicious and repeated following and harassing of another person", and it is estimated that one out of every 12 women has been stalked at some time in her life. In most cases, the purpose of stalking is to force a relationship with an unwilling or unavailable target. It is a crime of power and control.
The National Center for Victims of Crime defines stalking as "virtually any unwanted contact between two people that directly or indirectly communicates a threat or places the victim in fear..." Examples may include:
- following a person
- appearing at a person's home or place of business
- making harassing phone calls
- leaving written messages or objects
- vandalizing a person's property or breaking into the victim's home or car
- sending seemingly romantic gifts such as flowers
- gathering information on the victim such as contacting people who know the victim or gathering public records
- threats of violence intended to frighten the victim
- cyberstalking such as installing spyware on the victim's computer
It is estimated that the majority of stalking victims are between 18 and 39 years old, and the most common type of stalking is by a person in a former personal or romantic relationship, like an ex-husband — only a small number of women are stalked by strangers.
Stalking can be very traumatic and cause emotional stress. When I broke up with my ex, he made threats and promised that he would hunt me down wherever I went. It's a terrifying feeling to always be looking over your shoulder, running away every time you see a car or a person that resembles him. Hence, it is not beyond reason that victims of stalking may have nightmares, feel out of control, have trouble sleeping, eating, and concentrating, or feel vulnerable or depressed. Stalking can also cause financial stress if the victim loses time from work or can't go to work.
I had to give up my job, my home, live on welfare...and it took several years before I felt safe enough to live a normal life again, but not for long because one day I came home from work to find a greeting card from him slipped through the slot in my door; it hadn't been sent through the mails. He had been at my home. I felt violated, frightened; I began to cry. Of course, I had to move and start over again...another job, another borough. He never did find me again, but I never truly felt safe, not until I heard that he had passed away.
I had to give up my job, my home, live on welfare...and it took several years before I felt safe enough to live a normal life again, but not for long because one day I came home from work to find a greeting card from him slipped through the slot in my door; it hadn't been sent through the mails. He had been at my home. I felt violated, frightened; I began to cry. Of course, I had to move and start over again...another job, another borough. He never did find me again, but I never truly felt safe, not until I heard that he had passed away.
WOW.....what a story you have shared today....my mother was a victim of terrible domestic violence.....your message and what you do are so very important.
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I acquired a stalker at university. We were in the same language course together, it was my main subject and the only possibility for me to take that lesson. He sat close to me, tried to talk to me, followed me home - and on one memorable occasion somehow managed to enter my dormitory (the doors of which were supposed to be closed at all times) and suddenly knocked at my door one evening. I hid in my room for several hours until I had figured he was gone, and informed co-inhabitants that this person was not welcome. Somehow I managed to go to the lessons with him around, and at the end of the semester he took a job offer in farfaraway. I saw him in town once or twice after that, and I was surprised how very not scary he was.
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